I know it has been mentioned a lot as of late how difficult these recent months have been. Hannah's being gone has not helped, but has shown us just how deep our love is for each other. We are blessed to be able to keep in contact every day by phone. So we are still able to actively support each other, even over the long distance. I cannot imagine ever having to be apart from her this long ever again.

It feels as if these last few months I have been running a marathon. Putting all of this stuff together takes a ton of work! It has not been uncommon for me to sleep 2-3 hours a night for a week, and still be behind on things.

About a month ago, I found out that my single remaining grandparent, Ernest Kratzer, was having heart trouble. I remember this very well, as I was on my way to the storage unit on one of my countless trips. The scary thing was that it reminded me of the phone call I received a year earlier, going to the same storage unit, about my grandmother, and she passed away just a few days after. So it was a reminder of the events of the last year, not to mention a reminder of the fact that I lost my other grandfather a year before that.

On July 1st, our first anniversary, I changed the alternator in the Honda. This was our last day to finish moving out, and we were in a rush to get out the door to celebrate our anniversary. We had driven less than a mile, and started hearing a thumping sound. We pulled over, I inspected everything, but it all looked fine. So I shut the hood, and turned back around to go home and switch cars. We pulled into our complex, slowed to 5 mph, and all of a sudden, the front left tire fell off! Funny thing is I distinctly remember tightening the lug nuts very securely, so I am still not quite sure what happened. I collected the lug nuts, tightened the tire (extra tight this time!!!), and drove it back to our parking spot. Needless to say, we chose the other car to go out to dinner. But everything appears to be in working order, as nothing seems to have been damaged.

We left for Chicago on July 2nd, after dropping the Honda off at the school. Sure enough, a week later I received a call that it had been towed, as I forgot to let them know I was going to leave it. I was preoccupied with the news of my grandfather, and just the stress at the time.

Many of you know that I have spent this time in Chicago working, picking up any jobs possible. This allowed us to save money on rent for a month and a half and let me spend some much needed time with my family. Even though I have been busy, it has been a break from the recording process, and I have been able to sit back and reflect. It feels to us as we have been hit with a ridiculous amount of stressful circumstances and things beyond our control. The funny thing is, both Hannah and I feel more confirmed than ever, despite our circumstances, that we are exactly where we should be RIGHT NOW. It would be one thing if we felt discouraged, or that these were signs we needed to consider another path. But the Lord has really shown us the way and made the path clear, both to us, and to our families and close friends who have confirmed this.

The most difficult thing in the world is to feel so confirmed, but to not see the answers, to not know how God will provide, and to know I am doing my best as a person and as a husband to provide for our needs, and it still isn't enough to quite meet them. It is not a secret that we are strapped financially. However, we know this is beyond our control, both with the circumstances I mentioned and many others. Perhaps the enemy is at work. Perhaps the enemy does not want to see us succeed. Those are givens, but to what extent I do not know.

I am learning to trust God. To not rely on myself to provide everything, because ultimately it is God who even provides my basic abilities to work! It feels that He has been testing us; allowing us to go through hardships for a time to really see if we trust. And this is not to say I am doing a wonderful job. Far from it! I have certainly been experiencing the most stress of my life. But we are pressing on, and waiting on Him.

And here is the crazy thing. He provides, even if it is "just in time". Last night was an example of this. A friend (who will remain nameless) approached me and wanted to help us through this time. Not a loan, but flat out wanted to help. It will be enough to help us move into our new place, at which time I will be picking up a full time job, or two part time jobs. The humbling thing is, this person isn't rich, this person has worked hard for what they are helping us with. It's not someone who can easily and readily do something like this. And more humbling still, is that this kind of thing has been happening over and over these last few months.

Sometimes God provides through certain individuals to teach us humility, and He is certainly doing so in this case. We don't yet know how the project will be completed, but we really are feeling it will be this fall. We don't have the answers yet. We don't know how all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together, but they will.

This evening I was sharing the studio video with my uncle, and mentioned something that I had been thinking about a lot. When I watch the video, I love the music aspect of it, and seeing the project come together. But even more, I am reminded of all the people who have helped make this project a reality. Sure it is not completed, but there would be no way that we would be this far without all of you. Many of you have made personal sacrifices to help, and it is humbling, and your support means more than these words can express.

I am an imperfect, broken individual. But you love me despite my flaws. And Hannah does. And my family! That is blessing enough to keep us going. Thank you all for your support both financially, and more importantly, by prayer. I am sorry we have been unable to meet our original goal of a May release, but I hope that when it is finished, you will all feel it is worth the wait. By giving it more time, it has become something so much better than originally anticipated, and I think you will see this as well when it is released.

Thank you all for your love and support, and for your prayers. God provides, we are keeping the faith, keeping faith in the project, and holding on to hope.